I hate you

The way you smile, and your laughter that’s so easy to imitate,

I hate the way I can’t tell if it’s fake or genuine,

I hate the way I rummage around to know what’s going on in that brilliant head of yours,

I hate your predictable choice of clothing,

I hate how I can tell what’s under your eyes, the beauty of the emotions you hide and show in their unstable flickers,

I hate that I look out for you in my choices, thoughts, people,

I hate that when I’m at my lowest point, I think of you,

I hate that I read meanings to your silence and indifference,

I hate that my legs are not leaving, and knowing when to flee,

I hate that I can’t listen to any ballad without fearing that one memory of you could trigger something in me,

I hate how you treated me,

I hate the way I hurt of myself thinking of what could have happened if there was ever a chance,

I hate that I ever knew you,

I hate the fact that I can’t make you mine,

I hate that I can’t take you of my mind,

I hate that you don’t even know that I hate you so much,

But mostly, I hate that I let myself down because of you,

I hate that you don’t exude the quality I want,

I hate that I can’t settle, even if I want to have you so badly.